Showing posts with label Archive OKC journals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Archive OKC journals. Show all posts

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Journals

So, from this point backwards is an archive of the majority of my OK Cupid journal entries. I didn't want to lose my sage words :) For posterity's sake, it was a great free dating site, until Match.com bought it and slowly started removing the features that made it great.

May 6, 2011

Seeing rumors that the journals are going away. Noticed some of the buttons are gone form the journal page so I guess it's plausible.  I've been backing up the majority of my posts to a Blogger site. I got to 50 and it yelled at me for posting too much and is making me do a captcha thing each time so I guess I'll stop for today.
Stupid Match.com, it's all their fault.

Chicken


May 6, 2011

Completely chickening out about ending things. I didn't want to wait until Sunday (the next day we'd both have time off) to talk about stuff so I wrote up a whole letter explaining all the things that are bothering me. I don't have an email for him so I was going to send it through a FB message but today he texted me and he got bad news about his job ending in the near future so it would be harsh to send it now. Right?
And I still hold out a small hope that my experiences so far are a fluke and things will improve. Such an idiot :) I really do like spending time with him, that's the kicker.  
Damn it. 

The latest...


May 5, 2011

We haven't talked since Tuesday so maybe he's of the same mind as me that this (whatever "this" is) isn't going to work out. 
I'm disappointed and sad about it though. Disappointed because there was much hope in the beginning that this had some potential. And sad after spending time with his son because I realized that I'm a mother with no child. It's all I've ever dreamed of being, it's the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up, a mother. And with every passing day and failed dating attempt it seems less and less likely that dream will be realized.

I hope I do talk to him this weekend, he needs to hear the reasons so maybe the next girl he dates will have better luck. I want to do it in person even though it will suck.
So I'm updating my profile here to reflect that I don't want to date anyone with young kids, I know they (in most cases) don't need another mother but it's too emotionally hard to not be one.

*sigh*


May 3, 2011

So I caved and met his son tonight. I've spent a lot of time around kids in the past but it's been a while since I've been around one under four. And unfortunately, I can't help but judge his parenting, and I find it lacking. Granted, it was only a few hours so maybe he's not always so distracted with TV and his phone and doesn't let the kid run around and barely discipline him... I don't really want to know. I found myself biting my tongue all night to suppress my suggestions/criticisms, it's not fun.
I do like hanging out with the guy, but so far all the "beyond friendship" aspects are not meeting expectations. And he seems completely clueless.

Unimpressed.


May 1, 2011

I find myself desperately missing a certain ex-lover. One that knew the key to his pleasure was mine. One that always made sure I was satisfied too. Are there any men left that are not solely focused on their ownselves? 

That was rhetorical, not looking for offers.

Endeavour


Apr 28, 2011

Due to the awesomeness of my friends and where I live, I will going to the final shuttle Endeavour launch. I am super excited (despite the expected terrible traffic woes). I also get a bonus house guest and puppy for 2 nights, a friend who I haven't seen in about 6 years. She should be here in a couple hours. Woohoo!

Define casual...


Apr 25, 2011

Casual dating was the verdict. I asked about the online dating and he didn't seem to care either way, so I'm hanging out for bit but it's unlikely I'll accept any dates.
He did want me to meet his son today, which to me, sounds a little more than casual. We didn't have a chance to discuss it in depth but today wasn't a good day for meeting, especially sprung on me at the last minute. I think it's too soon, but we'll have to discuss it.

To suspend or not to suspend??


Apr 22, 2011

I think I might be dating someone now, we haven't actually talked out any specifics like if it's going to be serious-shouldn't-be-on-a-dating-site-dating (which I'd like) or a more casual type thing. 
I do like reading journals here, it's really the only thing I do these days unless I see a new profile that has some potential. But I do hate when people who are unavailable still have accounts, like they're rubbing it in the rest of our faces... and I don't really want to be one of those people.
I haven't told my family or any local friends about the dating yet, but my Twitter people know. We've been out twice, which has more to do with opposing work schedules than anything else. We text or talk pretty much everyday though. Plans made for this weekend too. I'm excited to see where this goes.
Any (possibly) final words from any of you?

Good night


Apr 17, 2011

Had a nice date with the afore mentioned ex-coworker. Offers for more dates and even help with yard work! :)

Quiet! You'll miss the humorous conclusion.


Apr 8, 2011

Definitely in my Top 5 episodes ever. 
So many quotable, silly lines.
You see, it was the duck, and not the man who was talking.

Pretty close I'd say...


Apr 5, 2011


Conscientious
You feel it's important to work according to a plan and finish every task, to do things correctly and thoroughly.
You are not the kind of person who abandons a project before finishing it, or slacks off when you've lost interest.
Scrupulous
You are an honest, fair person. You don't lie or cheat to get ahead. You treat others with respect and hope for the same in return.
You do not feel that you are above the rules that everyone else follows; you are definitely not willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead.
Organized
You like to think a task through before you embark on it. If it's the slightest bit complicated, you make a list (even if it's only in your mind) and methodically work your way through it. When you have a goal in mind, you're not satisfied until you reach it.
You are not one of those people who ignore the details, and you don't understand how anyone can get anything accomplished without thoughtful planning ahead of time.
Prudent
You look before you leap, think before you act, consider what you're about to say before you open your mouth to speak; that's why you rarely have to eat your words.
You usually don't get excited easily or blurt out the first thing that comes to mind without considering the consequences.
Introspective
You like your own company; you're a very interesting person. Tracking your own mental processes, knowing what you're thinking and why you do what you do, is important to you. Often, what's going on in your mind is more compelling than what's going on outside. For the most part, those with a high score on the "introspective" trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.
You are not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; you never feel bored when you are by yourself.
Reserved
You are somewhat shy, or at least unwilling to spend all your time socializing. With you it's true that "still waters run deep," which is why many of your acquaintances never get to know you well.
You are not always ready to talk at the drop of a hat. Whether you're in the office or at a party, you're not likely to be found gabbing away in the middle of a group of people.
Discreet
You tend to hold onto your thoughts until you have something important to say, and even then you're not comfortable imposing your ideas on others unless you know they're truly interested.
You don't enjoy talking for the sake of talking, and you have no desire to be the center of attention.
Responsible
You fulfill your obligations and responsibilities, are true to your word, and generally obey the rules. While the majority of those who have a high score on the "responsible" trait enjoy traveling, they are usually very happy to return home — and don’t mind staying put for a while.
You're opposed to making hasty decisions, you don't insist that you're above the rules, nor do you feel compelled to color outside the lines.
Focused
You know how to lock in on what's important. You quickly prepare yourself for a task, you don't procrastinate, and you don't let up until the job is done to your satisfaction.
You are the opposite of scattered. You don't procrastinate before starting a task, and you almost never lose track of what you're doing.
Aesthetic
You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.
You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Addiction


Apr 3, 2011

I went to Lowe's for hardware to fix my closet door and left with a mango tree, a kiwi vine and some other greenery. Loves the plants. I remembered the hardware too  :)

New chapters


Apr 3, 2011

Well, my last day of work was yesterday. Disappointed but not surprised that no one made a fuss. Some people that have left get a mass of coworkers out for a celebratory dinner. Not I. I am unloved. Or it was just impossible since I was working when everyone else got off work.
I did exchange numbers with the guy mentioned in my last post so maybe we'll go out sometime.  I could very easily talk myself out of it though. Mostly because he's mentioned going to church a few times so he might not look favorably on my atheism. If he calls, we shall see.
Only today off to recuperate and to switch gears to the new job. Going from 2-midnight to 7am-4pm is going to be rough for awhile. Must go to bed early tonight so I'm rested for a boring day of new employee orientation tomorrow! Yippee.

Yesterday, when I said...


Mar 27, 2011

"I have to remind myself too often that I'm not as cute as I used to be and when guys are being nice and friendly it doesn't mean there's any attraction or anything more to it than nice and friendly. But one day I hope to be wrong."
There's a small chance I was wrong and someone is/was interested in me. But I think I may have accidentally rejected him. I was tired and the conversation was interrupted and I'm not exactly sure what happened but we didn't finish the conversation. And now I can't stop myself from wondering how the rest would have went. I'm an idiot.

Random thoughts and observations...


Mar 26, 2011

I have to remind myself too often that I'm not as cute as I used to be and when guys are being nice and friendly it doesn't mean there's any attraction or anything more to it than nice and friendly. But one day I hope to be wrong.
Today I saw a post from a guy equating women refusing to date smokers (he is one) as the same as refusing to date fat people, hippies, vegetarians, or bimbos. None of those other traits directly affects other people like smoking does. Ridiculous to compare them and everyone has the right to weed out whatever they feel is undesirable.
Another post today was complaining about materialistic women only willing to date men with higher education degrees. He never made any reference to those women actually wanting someone who made a lot of money, just that they have a degree. Sure a degree may give you higher earning potential but it's certainly not guaranteed. And a materialistic woman would probably latch on to anyone making lots of money whether he had a degree or not.  He ended his rant with some religious nonsense about how a degree wouldn't help a man's soul. 
There was something else but I forgot...
P.S.  I'm annoyed when people have various thoughts and post separate entries for each, one after the other. It's not so hard to make one post now is it?

Book recs?


Mar 21, 2011

I'm out of new books to read and looking for some new recommendations in the fantasy and sci fi genres. Along the lines of Jacqueline Carey, Anne Bishop, Neil Gaiman... I've tried to read Small Gods by Pratchett but kind of hated it and never finished it but I'm not opposed to trying something else of his.

Anyone?
I really liked Asimov's classic _Foundation_ series. Simple writing style and incredibly engrossing.
A former user commented on Mar 21
I read "Going Postal" by Pratchett and rather enjoyed it. Oh! Brandon Sanderson is good too, either Elantris or his Trilogy (the title of which escapes me at the moment) are quite good! Care to give any recommendations? I'm always looking for good sci fi and fantasy to read!
w commented on Mar 21
@W Hands down, my favorite is Carey's Kushiel's Legacy series which includes two separate but related trilogies. Epic fantasy story. Thank you both for your suggestions.
DMFlorida commented on Mar 21

You can never go wrong reading or re-reading Octavia Butler.

Personally, I think Murakami is horribly over-rated, but he's a current literary darling, so Kafka on the Shore or Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World might be worth a look.

One big recommendation: China Miéville is the most thrilling voice to hit fantasy in years and years. Brilliant stylist; his prose easily equals Chip Delany or Ursula Le Guin, surpasses (imho) George Martin or Gene Wolfe.

But not for everyone. Not Tolkienesque elves & hobbits, no kinda-like-rural Englands, no monolithic all-bad Dark Lords. You're more likely to find characters derived from Egyptian myth (like the Khepri--a race of artists with human bodies and the heads of scarabs), Hindu epics, even a version of the cactuars from Final Fantasy video games.
The core setting of his best known novels-- Perdido Street Station; The Iron Council; The Scar--is the immense, relentlessly magical city of New Crobuzon. This is a steampunk world--more intense than, but similar to, the setting of Fullmetal Alchemist.
And Miéville's very political. His paradigm (again, like Fullmetal) is that magic will inevitably be co-opted by oligarchs, militarized, and used against the masses; while artists, scientists & outlaws invent new magics to fight back.
Result: in New Crobuzon, class warfare is at once wondrous, gorgeous, psychedelic, and dripping with eldritch horror...

Bottom line: if you like Moorcock, Tim Powers, Thomas Disch, M. John Harrison, J.G. Ballard, Brian Aldiss, Michael de Larrabeiti, Emma Bull, or Kelly Link, you might love Miéville.
 commented on Mar 21
Come to think of it, one more author.

This will seem odd at first, for Lady Dorothy Dunnett didn't write sf/f. She wrote a hugely epic and epically romantic historical series: the six-volume Lymond Chronicles and an eight-volume prequel, The House of Niccolò

This isn't a personal recommendation: I could never get into them. But that's true of much romance.

What I can say is this: every female fantasy author and editor whom I've known even slightly has been absolutely madly in love with Dunnett's novels. Given that her hardcore fans have included writers like Marion Zimmer Bradley and Anne McCaffrey, it's likely that Dunnett may be (directly or by one degree of separation) the single greatest influence on romantic fantasy in the past half century. For that reason alone... 
 commented on Mar 21
I have purchased China Miéville's Perdido Street Station and the first of Asimov's Foundation series. I will eenie meenie minee mo to see who gets read first :) After reading about Pratchett's Going Postal and it mentioning it was aimed to young readers, turned me off. I'm not at all a "young adult" book reader. Thanks again for all your suggestions.
DMFlorida commented on Mar 22
Disclaimer - I am not a geek - I read a lot of Asimov in high school. The foundation stuff along with his Robot novels are some of the best sci fi ever written. In my opinion Asimov, Heinlein, and Clark are the big daddies of classic sci fi, all their stuff is good.
g commented on Mar 22
I'm sure you've probably read it already, but my hands-down favorite is Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. I didn't much care for the rest of the books in that series, but that one I've read more than a few times. Another series I think you might consider is Joel Rosenberg's "Guardians of the Flame" series. 80's sci-fi / fantasy FTW!
S commented on Mar 25